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Aug. 6th, 2008 | 10:23 am
mood: indescribableindescribable

This is an example of seriously over the top satire written about members of the Hellenic community, and I'm happy to say that we (myself and various others in the Hellenic community) are far, far too mature for this.

I am sharing only because I really think people should know that this sorta stuff is being written, and this is an example of a level we really shouldn't be stooping to.

I am not saying where I found it posted because I'm above that sort of thing. I am not one to be a tattletale.




It was three o'clock in the a.m.; any normal person would have been in bed -- but not Tim Alexander. He was no ordinary person — he just knew that somewhere, on the Internet, NeoPagans were infiltrating Recon communities, and that this had to be stopped. No-one else was fit enough for this task; he had to go alone.

But first, he needed coffee.

His wife, who had been out working all day while Tim was on the Internet yelling at NeoPagans, had understandably forgotten to get a new can of Foldger's. He made a mental note to yell at her and smack her around like an Athenian noble when he returned from Starbuck's; there was a 24-hour Starbuck's by him, and they had free wireless, so he could bring his laptop. Those damned dirty NeoPagans should not be spared a moment of Tim's awesome mind.

He was really getting into it when this one guy on the forum finally said something Recon Enough.

Could it be? Were there truly others out there? Surely he couldn't have been the only one?

Little Timmy started to stir in Mr Alexander's sweatpants, (the ones what didn't have the hole in the crotch that his wife burned in them when she realised one day that Tim wasn't the awesome Dominant that he wanted her to believe he was — thankfully for her, he believed her when she said it was an accident).

"Oh man!" thought Tim. "This man is so Recon that I'm starting to get a little bi. At least I hope it's really a guy, and not some woman or Tranny -- then I'd be even MORE Recon!"

As Tim looked away from the computer for a moment, his glance caught that of another man's at Starbuck's. While he normally didn't go for that mystical honkeiness, he decided to chance it this one time — what's the worst that could happen?

He got up and walked over to the other guy, who was at HIS laptop, as well.

"Hi, I'm Tim."

"Tim Alexander?"

"Why.... YES!"

"I forget what handle I'm using on this list right now, but I'm Robin Artisson. I'm honoured to make your acquaintence."

"THE Robin Artisson?? The scourge of NeoPagans everywhere?"

Robin blushed. "Oh, I'm not that great."

As the two left together, Tim was overcome with lust, and wound up coaxing Artisson into an alleyway. The two started making out like Athenian schoolboys.

Link | Pour the wine | Share

Comments {63}

Sorrid

*no subject*

from: sonicwylde
date: Aug. 7th, 2008 05:37 pm (UTC)
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You know what they say...

"I think he doth protest to much"

So by all logical accounts, and a few hints from the aether.... this owl guy is a flaming queen.

AND a consensus of the gay community says " EW get it away get it away"

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Ruadhan J McElroy

*no subject*

from: newdance
date: Aug. 7th, 2008 05:41 pm (UTC)
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Well, it's been a while since I've gotten any, so that this point, I'll take it from almost anybody -- hey, that's why i bought a fistful of Wine Grape flavoured lube packets and Durex condoms.

Wine Grape: The only flavoured lube that is Recon Enough™!

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Sorrid

*no subject*

from: sonicwylde
date: Aug. 7th, 2008 05:47 pm (UTC)
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hmmm wine grape... ew? well ig uess if its recon ;)

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Kyrene

*no subject*

from: kyrene_myste
date: Aug. 7th, 2008 05:49 pm (UTC)
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Mavrodaphne! Nothin' but the best! :D

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Sorrid

*no subject*

from: sonicwylde
date: Aug. 7th, 2008 05:53 pm (UTC)
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wow someone made me look up something... Point for you;)

(i drink rarely and never wine so never heard of it before)

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Kyrene

*no subject*

from: kyrene_myste
date: Aug. 7th, 2008 05:55 pm (UTC)
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I usually don't go for sweet red wine but Mavrodaphne is good. Also excellent for mulling, and even tastes good watered down. ;)

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Sorrid

*no subject*

from: sonicwylde
date: Aug. 7th, 2008 05:59 pm (UTC)
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hmm, is it something served at restuarantes at all?

I dont allow alcohol in the house so cant really buy a bottle.

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Kyrene

*no subject*

from: kyrene_myste
date: Aug. 7th, 2008 06:01 pm (UTC)
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I've never seen it served in restaurants unless it's a really, really Greek restaurant. Sorry.

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Sorrid

*no subject*

from: sonicwylde
date: Aug. 7th, 2008 06:04 pm (UTC)
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well damn it all to wahtever icky afterlife.

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Kyrene

*no subject*

from: kyrene_myste
date: Aug. 7th, 2008 06:06 pm (UTC)
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LOL

How come you don't allow alcohol in your home? Just curious.

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Sorrid

*no subject*

from: sonicwylde
date: Aug. 7th, 2008 06:18 pm (UTC)
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well my husband almost died years ago from liver failure cuz of drinking.

but Chocoloate Liqour would never touchhis lips;)

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Kyrene

*no subject*

from: kyrene_myste
date: Aug. 7th, 2008 06:23 pm (UTC)
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Eep! :( What a shame. I hear ya.

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Sorrid

*no subject*

from: sonicwylde
date: Aug. 7th, 2008 06:25 pm (UTC)
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yea but things are good, and i rarely drink anyway so its all good;)

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Ruadhan J McElroy

*no subject*

from: newdance
date: Aug. 7th, 2008 06:10 pm (UTC)
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No way: Retsina. It'll make it more Recon.

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Kyrene

*no subject*

from: kyrene_myste
date: Aug. 7th, 2008 06:14 pm (UTC)
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Now THAT is good stuff if you get a good label.

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Ruadhan J McElroy

*no subject*

from: newdance
date: Aug. 7th, 2008 05:53 pm (UTC)
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...but if we're going to analyse him, I'd say that he's a closeted Trans woman. His aversion to butch women shows that he has a serious problem with masculinity, which is probably from his latent desires to be recognised as a woman, which he now believes are forever destroyed by his premature balding.

I used to be a LaVeyan Satanist, thus have met several others. Many LaVeyan men are masculine-identified and, even if they themselves aren't, have a certain respect for the "He Man" archetype, even if they're a strict Kinsey 0 Heterosexual. They'd never make a comment like owl_clan's, in part because, well, if a man's gay, more girlfriends for the Satanist guy, right? Plus, honestly, a lot of satanist men I know have a respect for butch women -- they'd rather fuck femme women, sure, but they can fucking *relate* to butch women, and they respect that, they don't go "EEEEW!!!" at even the idea of butch women.

This guy is clearly a deeply closeted Trans woman who has remained so closeted for so long that he SHE has developed a deep self-hatred that has developed into a hatred for masculinity in general.

...in which case, I'd say "ew! get it away!" because I respect a Trans woman's right to be a woman too much to even take a blow job. I don't care how big her penis is, she's a woman and I'm not into women.

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Sorrid

*no subject*

from: sonicwylde
date: Aug. 7th, 2008 05:56 pm (UTC)
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okay... I so didnt want to put that much thought into it.

I felt dirty saying he might be gay, cuz you know, i really dont want him associated with my community;)

Plus I would then have to screen each guy I meet to make sure it wasnt him, and that just takes way to much freaking time.

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Ruadhan J McElroy

*no subject*

from: newdance
date: Aug. 7th, 2008 06:05 pm (UTC)
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In all honesty, I didn't really put any more thought into it than the time it took to write that all out.

I think there might be something wrong with my brain. :-D

Regardless, I still think that all of his problems can be cured by sucking my cock. My cock is THAT magical — I mean RECON!

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Sorrid

*no subject*

from: sonicwylde
date: Aug. 7th, 2008 06:11 pm (UTC)
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well, i will agree ... not that i ever sucked your cock, but um yea...

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Ruadhan J McElroy

*no subject*

from: newdance
date: Aug. 7th, 2008 07:05 pm (UTC)
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Are you saying that there's something wrong with my brain? :-D

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Sorrid

*no subject*

from: sonicwylde
date: Aug. 7th, 2008 07:49 pm (UTC)
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heheh well I dont know;) but if there is, could be Really Fun

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