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Aug. 6th, 2008 | 10:23 am
mood: indescribableindescribable

This is an example of seriously over the top satire written about members of the Hellenic community, and I'm happy to say that we (myself and various others in the Hellenic community) are far, far too mature for this.

I am sharing only because I really think people should know that this sorta stuff is being written, and this is an example of a level we really shouldn't be stooping to.

I am not saying where I found it posted because I'm above that sort of thing. I am not one to be a tattletale.




It was three o'clock in the a.m.; any normal person would have been in bed -- but not Tim Alexander. He was no ordinary person — he just knew that somewhere, on the Internet, NeoPagans were infiltrating Recon communities, and that this had to be stopped. No-one else was fit enough for this task; he had to go alone.

But first, he needed coffee.

His wife, who had been out working all day while Tim was on the Internet yelling at NeoPagans, had understandably forgotten to get a new can of Foldger's. He made a mental note to yell at her and smack her around like an Athenian noble when he returned from Starbuck's; there was a 24-hour Starbuck's by him, and they had free wireless, so he could bring his laptop. Those damned dirty NeoPagans should not be spared a moment of Tim's awesome mind.

He was really getting into it when this one guy on the forum finally said something Recon Enough.

Could it be? Were there truly others out there? Surely he couldn't have been the only one?

Little Timmy started to stir in Mr Alexander's sweatpants, (the ones what didn't have the hole in the crotch that his wife burned in them when she realised one day that Tim wasn't the awesome Dominant that he wanted her to believe he was — thankfully for her, he believed her when she said it was an accident).

"Oh man!" thought Tim. "This man is so Recon that I'm starting to get a little bi. At least I hope it's really a guy, and not some woman or Tranny -- then I'd be even MORE Recon!"

As Tim looked away from the computer for a moment, his glance caught that of another man's at Starbuck's. While he normally didn't go for that mystical honkeiness, he decided to chance it this one time — what's the worst that could happen?

He got up and walked over to the other guy, who was at HIS laptop, as well.

"Hi, I'm Tim."

"Tim Alexander?"

"Why.... YES!"

"I forget what handle I'm using on this list right now, but I'm Robin Artisson. I'm honoured to make your acquaintence."

"THE Robin Artisson?? The scourge of NeoPagans everywhere?"

Robin blushed. "Oh, I'm not that great."

As the two left together, Tim was overcome with lust, and wound up coaxing Artisson into an alleyway. The two started making out like Athenian schoolboys.

Link | Pour the wine | Share

Comments {63}

Ruadhan J McElroy

*no subject*

from: newdance
date: Aug. 7th, 2008 01:15 pm (UTC)
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Situation one: Robin, you're a gimp.

Situation 2: Robin, suck my cock.

Situation 3: Robin, suck my cock.

Situation 4a: Robin, suck my cock.

Situation 4b: Robin, you need to be beaten with a sock full of quarters. And then suck my cock.

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(Deleted comment)

Ruadhan J McElroy

*no subject*

from: newdance
date: Aug. 7th, 2008 01:45 pm (UTC)
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You're more than welcome to take it.

Or this one, if you'd rather.

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Robin Artisson

*no subject*

from: owl_clan
date: Aug. 7th, 2008 04:05 pm (UTC)
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lol. I liked my situations better.

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Ruadhan J McElroy

*no subject*

from: newdance
date: Aug. 7th, 2008 04:53 pm (UTC)
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I think we should put it to a vote, cos your situations mean that you should suck my cock — go on, do it, it'll make you more HR.

Seriously, your blatant homophobia and even more blatant sexism can be cured for the low, low price of sucking my cock. I have only two rules: 1) Mind the foreskin, 2) if you use teeth, I'm breaking your jaw.

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Sorrid

*no subject*

from: sonicwylde
date: Aug. 7th, 2008 05:37 pm (UTC)
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You know what they say...

"I think he doth protest to much"

So by all logical accounts, and a few hints from the aether.... this owl guy is a flaming queen.

AND a consensus of the gay community says " EW get it away get it away"

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Ruadhan J McElroy

*no subject*

from: newdance
date: Aug. 7th, 2008 05:41 pm (UTC)
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Well, it's been a while since I've gotten any, so that this point, I'll take it from almost anybody -- hey, that's why i bought a fistful of Wine Grape flavoured lube packets and Durex condoms.

Wine Grape: The only flavoured lube that is Recon Enough™!

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Sorrid

*no subject*

from: sonicwylde
date: Aug. 7th, 2008 05:47 pm (UTC)
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hmmm wine grape... ew? well ig uess if its recon ;)

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Kyrene

*no subject*

from: kyrene_myste
date: Aug. 7th, 2008 05:49 pm (UTC)
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Mavrodaphne! Nothin' but the best! :D

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Sorrid

*no subject*

from: sonicwylde
date: Aug. 7th, 2008 05:53 pm (UTC)
Link

wow someone made me look up something... Point for you;)

(i drink rarely and never wine so never heard of it before)

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Kyrene

*no subject*

from: kyrene_myste
date: Aug. 7th, 2008 05:55 pm (UTC)
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I usually don't go for sweet red wine but Mavrodaphne is good. Also excellent for mulling, and even tastes good watered down. ;)

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Ruadhan J McElroy

*no subject*

from: newdance
date: Aug. 7th, 2008 06:10 pm (UTC)
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No way: Retsina. It'll make it more Recon.

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Kyrene

*no subject*

from: kyrene_myste
date: Aug. 7th, 2008 06:14 pm (UTC)
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Now THAT is good stuff if you get a good label.

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Ruadhan J McElroy

*no subject*

from: newdance
date: Aug. 7th, 2008 05:53 pm (UTC)
Link

...but if we're going to analyse him, I'd say that he's a closeted Trans woman. His aversion to butch women shows that he has a serious problem with masculinity, which is probably from his latent desires to be recognised as a woman, which he now believes are forever destroyed by his premature balding.

I used to be a LaVeyan Satanist, thus have met several others. Many LaVeyan men are masculine-identified and, even if they themselves aren't, have a certain respect for the "He Man" archetype, even if they're a strict Kinsey 0 Heterosexual. They'd never make a comment like owl_clan's, in part because, well, if a man's gay, more girlfriends for the Satanist guy, right? Plus, honestly, a lot of satanist men I know have a respect for butch women -- they'd rather fuck femme women, sure, but they can fucking *relate* to butch women, and they respect that, they don't go "EEEEW!!!" at even the idea of butch women.

This guy is clearly a deeply closeted Trans woman who has remained so closeted for so long that he SHE has developed a deep self-hatred that has developed into a hatred for masculinity in general.

...in which case, I'd say "ew! get it away!" because I respect a Trans woman's right to be a woman too much to even take a blow job. I don't care how big her penis is, she's a woman and I'm not into women.

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Sorrid

*no subject*

from: sonicwylde
date: Aug. 7th, 2008 05:56 pm (UTC)
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okay... I so didnt want to put that much thought into it.

I felt dirty saying he might be gay, cuz you know, i really dont want him associated with my community;)

Plus I would then have to screen each guy I meet to make sure it wasnt him, and that just takes way to much freaking time.

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Ruadhan J McElroy

*no subject*

from: newdance
date: Aug. 7th, 2008 06:05 pm (UTC)
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In all honesty, I didn't really put any more thought into it than the time it took to write that all out.

I think there might be something wrong with my brain. :-D

Regardless, I still think that all of his problems can be cured by sucking my cock. My cock is THAT magical — I mean RECON!

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Sorrid

*no subject*

from: sonicwylde
date: Aug. 7th, 2008 06:11 pm (UTC)
Link

well, i will agree ... not that i ever sucked your cock, but um yea...

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Ruadhan J McElroy

*no subject*

from: newdance
date: Aug. 7th, 2008 07:05 pm (UTC)
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Are you saying that there's something wrong with my brain? :-D

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Robin Artisson

*no subject*

from: owl_clan
date: Aug. 7th, 2008 08:03 pm (UTC)
Link


Your blatant inability to see humor or get a joke is even more telling, I'd say. Get over yourself, whoever the hell you are.

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Ruadhan J McElroy

*no subject*

from: newdance
date: Aug. 7th, 2008 09:34 pm (UTC)
Link

Your inability to admit you want my peen in your mouth is even more so.

So just suck my cock, already, you legend-in-your-own-mind.

By the way, I know you're Amerikan-born, so here's a pointer: On a lot of uncut guys, it's really nice to roll the foreskin completely over the glans just slightly as you're pulling your mouth back over the tip but retract is just enough to expose the glans when it's actually in your mouth. I am one of those guys.

Just remember what I said about the teeth if you care about not taking your food through a straw, gotcha?

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Robin Artisson

*no subject*

from: owl_clan
date: Aug. 7th, 2008 09:53 pm (UTC)
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The fact that Kyrene would tolerate a degenerate like you shocks me.

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Ruadhan J McElroy

*no subject*

from: newdance
date: Aug. 7th, 2008 10:04 pm (UTC)
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It shocks you that somebody who lists "discordianism" as an interest would be tolerant of my own unique brand of degeracy?

That's sad!

But hey! I know what'll cheer you up! He's about 6" erect (pretty big, considering that I'm only five feet tall) and his name is "Little Iannis". He stands up real pretty-like for David Bowie and Rufus Wainwright, so don't complain when I put on Want Two and call you "Jareth", OK?

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Kyrene

*no subject*

from: kyrene_myste
date: Aug. 7th, 2008 11:29 pm (UTC)
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I'm a Dionysian. Am I supposed to be, like, shocked and appalled?

And thanks for the sex tip, Ruadhan--no pun intended. ;)

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Robin Artisson

*no subject*

from: owl_clan
date: Aug. 8th, 2008 01:46 am (UTC)
Link


I don't think being a "dionysian" means that you must take an "anything goes" attitude to people or activities. This degenerate is either being willfully ignorant (quite possible) and ignoring the fact that I was joking earlier, or is just plain ignorant (more likely) and spouting off quite a lot of immature drivel in some misguided attempt to seem like he "weally weally won teh online dwama", and he's doing it with a mean, ignorant spirit. It just seems a bit below you to keep such obvious drama queens around.

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Kyrene

*no subject*

from: kyrene_myste
date: Aug. 8th, 2008 10:41 am (UTC)
Link

Because you neeeeever cause drama. Nope, not you, never ever. ;) C'mon, fess up. I'm just as guilty myself and I'll openly admit to that.

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