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Aug. 6th, 2008 | 10:23 am
mood: indescribableindescribable

This is an example of seriously over the top satire written about members of the Hellenic community, and I'm happy to say that we (myself and various others in the Hellenic community) are far, far too mature for this.

I am sharing only because I really think people should know that this sorta stuff is being written, and this is an example of a level we really shouldn't be stooping to.

I am not saying where I found it posted because I'm above that sort of thing. I am not one to be a tattletale.




It was three o'clock in the a.m.; any normal person would have been in bed -- but not Tim Alexander. He was no ordinary person — he just knew that somewhere, on the Internet, NeoPagans were infiltrating Recon communities, and that this had to be stopped. No-one else was fit enough for this task; he had to go alone.

But first, he needed coffee.

His wife, who had been out working all day while Tim was on the Internet yelling at NeoPagans, had understandably forgotten to get a new can of Foldger's. He made a mental note to yell at her and smack her around like an Athenian noble when he returned from Starbuck's; there was a 24-hour Starbuck's by him, and they had free wireless, so he could bring his laptop. Those damned dirty NeoPagans should not be spared a moment of Tim's awesome mind.

He was really getting into it when this one guy on the forum finally said something Recon Enough.

Could it be? Were there truly others out there? Surely he couldn't have been the only one?

Little Timmy started to stir in Mr Alexander's sweatpants, (the ones what didn't have the hole in the crotch that his wife burned in them when she realised one day that Tim wasn't the awesome Dominant that he wanted her to believe he was — thankfully for her, he believed her when she said it was an accident).

"Oh man!" thought Tim. "This man is so Recon that I'm starting to get a little bi. At least I hope it's really a guy, and not some woman or Tranny -- then I'd be even MORE Recon!"

As Tim looked away from the computer for a moment, his glance caught that of another man's at Starbuck's. While he normally didn't go for that mystical honkeiness, he decided to chance it this one time — what's the worst that could happen?

He got up and walked over to the other guy, who was at HIS laptop, as well.

"Hi, I'm Tim."

"Tim Alexander?"

"Why.... YES!"

"I forget what handle I'm using on this list right now, but I'm Robin Artisson. I'm honoured to make your acquaintence."

"THE Robin Artisson?? The scourge of NeoPagans everywhere?"

Robin blushed. "Oh, I'm not that great."

As the two left together, Tim was overcome with lust, and wound up coaxing Artisson into an alleyway. The two started making out like Athenian schoolboys.

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Comments {63}

(Deleted comment)

Robin Artisson

*no subject*

from: owl_clan
date: Aug. 7th, 2008 02:48 am (UTC)
Link


Okay, I submit again: you need a girlfriend. Because it's a win-win situation for me, however you go, whatever the combination. Look:

Situation 1: You are a straight guy
Outcome: You are distracted from teh online dramas with fine heterosexual frolicking

Situation 2: You are a gay guy
Outcome: The hot girlfriend you should have no trouble attracting may "convert" you to being straight, after which you will be distracted from teh online dramas with fine heterosexual frolicking

Situation 3: You are a straight girl
Outcome: Awesome!

Situation 4: You are a gay girl
Outcome: Awesome! (if you are pretty and feminine) or Ohmydeargods (If you are the butchy type) and you are distracted (either way) from teh internet dramas by your partner.

Go forth. Get a girl.

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(Deleted comment)

Robin Artisson

*no subject*

from: owl_clan
date: Aug. 7th, 2008 04:00 am (UTC)
Link


You simply aren't getting it. I don't even begin to care what your actual sexual orientation is. You are a heterosexual man in my mind, or better yet, a hot straight chick that happens to dig other chicks. Deal with it.

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(Deleted comment)

Kyrene

*no subject*

from: kyrene_myste
date: Aug. 7th, 2008 12:49 pm (UTC)
Link

That must be a GOOD thing. :D

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(Deleted comment)

Ruadhan J McElroy

*no subject*

from: newdance
date: Aug. 7th, 2008 01:17 pm (UTC)
Link

:-D

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Ruadhan J McElroy

*no subject*

from: newdance
date: Aug. 7th, 2008 01:15 pm (UTC)
Link

Situation one: Robin, you're a gimp.

Situation 2: Robin, suck my cock.

Situation 3: Robin, suck my cock.

Situation 4a: Robin, suck my cock.

Situation 4b: Robin, you need to be beaten with a sock full of quarters. And then suck my cock.

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(Deleted comment)

Ruadhan J McElroy

*no subject*

from: newdance
date: Aug. 7th, 2008 01:45 pm (UTC)
Link

You're more than welcome to take it.

Or this one, if you'd rather.

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Robin Artisson

*no subject*

from: owl_clan
date: Aug. 7th, 2008 04:05 pm (UTC)
Link


lol. I liked my situations better.

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Ruadhan J McElroy

*no subject*

from: newdance
date: Aug. 7th, 2008 04:53 pm (UTC)
Link

I think we should put it to a vote, cos your situations mean that you should suck my cock — go on, do it, it'll make you more HR.

Seriously, your blatant homophobia and even more blatant sexism can be cured for the low, low price of sucking my cock. I have only two rules: 1) Mind the foreskin, 2) if you use teeth, I'm breaking your jaw.

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Sorrid

*no subject*

from: sonicwylde
date: Aug. 7th, 2008 05:37 pm (UTC)
Link

You know what they say...

"I think he doth protest to much"

So by all logical accounts, and a few hints from the aether.... this owl guy is a flaming queen.

AND a consensus of the gay community says " EW get it away get it away"

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Robin Artisson

*no subject*

from: owl_clan
date: Aug. 7th, 2008 08:03 pm (UTC)
Link


Your blatant inability to see humor or get a joke is even more telling, I'd say. Get over yourself, whoever the hell you are.

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