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Aug. 6th, 2008 | 10:23 am
mood: indescribableindescribable

This is an example of seriously over the top satire written about members of the Hellenic community, and I'm happy to say that we (myself and various others in the Hellenic community) are far, far too mature for this.

I am sharing only because I really think people should know that this sorta stuff is being written, and this is an example of a level we really shouldn't be stooping to.

I am not saying where I found it posted because I'm above that sort of thing. I am not one to be a tattletale.

It was three o'clock in the a.m.; any normal person would have been in bed -- but not Tim Alexander. He was no ordinary person — he just knew that somewhere, on the Internet, NeoPagans were infiltrating Recon communities, and that this had to be stopped. No-one else was fit enough for this task; he had to go alone.

But first, he needed coffee.

His wife, who had been out working all day while Tim was on the Internet yelling at NeoPagans, had understandably forgotten to get a new can of Foldger's. He made a mental note to yell at her and smack her around like an Athenian noble when he returned from Starbuck's; there was a 24-hour Starbuck's by him, and they had free wireless, so he could bring his laptop. Those damned dirty NeoPagans should not be spared a moment of Tim's awesome mind.

He was really getting into it when this one guy on the forum finally said something Recon Enough.

Could it be? Were there truly others out there? Surely he couldn't have been the only one?

Little Timmy started to stir in Mr Alexander's sweatpants, (the ones what didn't have the hole in the crotch that his wife burned in them when she realised one day that Tim wasn't the awesome Dominant that he wanted her to believe he was — thankfully for her, he believed her when she said it was an accident).

"Oh man!" thought Tim. "This man is so Recon that I'm starting to get a little bi. At least I hope it's really a guy, and not some woman or Tranny -- then I'd be even MORE Recon!"

As Tim looked away from the computer for a moment, his glance caught that of another man's at Starbuck's. While he normally didn't go for that mystical honkeiness, he decided to chance it this one time — what's the worst that could happen?

He got up and walked over to the other guy, who was at HIS laptop, as well.

"Hi, I'm Tim."

"Tim Alexander?"

"Why.... YES!"

"I forget what handle I'm using on this list right now, but I'm Robin Artisson. I'm honoured to make your acquaintence."

"THE Robin Artisson?? The scourge of NeoPagans everywhere?"

Robin blushed. "Oh, I'm not that great."

As the two left together, Tim was overcome with lust, and wound up coaxing Artisson into an alleyway. The two started making out like Athenian schoolboys.

Link | Pour the wine |

Comments {63}

Lorele Phoenixjade

*no subject*

from: lorele
date: Aug. 6th, 2008 03:31 pm (UTC)

Oh, good lord. I've heard this name, but I still don't know jack about him. I didn't know people wrote slash about nearly-unknown fundamentalists. Then again, I guess creative writing knows no bounds. Still... Wow. It's also a bit small-minded to narrow one's focus in such a way... but it fits satire (satyr?) in a Dionysian way...

Honestly, I didn't care to hear a whole discussion about him and the problems he was causing for people online. After a few days of people adding their gossip in, I sent out a post which I titled "The Beginning and End of Drama" (a little hark back to the Alpha and the Omega)...

"Black Word", as I've heard it termed, entails discussion of the past, gossip, and demeaning other people. Even I get tired of it, once I've vented my own frustrations. I haven't ever been a subject of this person, probably because I'm simply not a prolific target... I think that's a good thing. From what I hear, he's troll-like in his ways, and fundamentalist in his views. :-\

The end.

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Robin Artisson

*no subject*

from: owl_clan
date: Aug. 6th, 2008 10:36 pm (UTC)

You seem to think you know me well enough to call me "fundamentalist". Maybe you should actually get to know someone before you label them, and decide for yourself. Your awesome ability to let online trolls tell you what to think about others makes you well suited (I'd say) to either the Assembly of God or Southern Baptism- they let others tell them what to think, too.

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