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May. 9th, 2008 | 11:31 pm
mood: busybusy

I just read all of my past entries on here. Wow, was I burnt out. I am glad that I got removed from everything in regards to the Hellenic community for a time because I frankly needed it and a little perspective. Of course I had both good and bad incentives along the way to get myself removed, but hey--such is life.

So...the question is...what have I been up to?

Fantastic question. Allow me to bullet point in no particular order:


  • Writing career. I got published in the realm of romantic dark fantasy in the epub world and it is AWESOME. This has been my passion for two-thirds of my life, and I'm happy to see this dream of my fulfilled.

  • Lots of spiritual magickal practice. Mostly in the way of theurgy and spiritual alchemy. I put a number of projects into motion over the past several months, all of which have borne a great deal of fruit. If you're curious as to the details and give a shit about things like ceremonial magick and whatnot, friend sol_et_luna, which is my magickal journal.

  • Lots of spiritual practice, period. I finally got my White Tara and Green Tara initiations. No, Tara is not a Greek deity--she's a lovely Tibetan goddess who has been in my life even longer than Apollo. This is something I've wanted since my freshman year of college. It's an intense meditative practice during which I visualize myself as Green Tara in order to gain qualities such as compassion, patience, willingness to help others--all sorts of positive traits. I think it's rubbing off on me. I'd like to think that as much as I may already be a good person I can always stand to be improved.

    Yes, I'm very interested in Graeco-Buddhism; why do you ask?

    I'll admit it--I got back into Tibetan Buddhism and meditation--particularly on Tara--after my grandfather died towards the end of '05. That's also when I left the realm of reconstructionism and hardcore "academic paganism" for good. Musty old books written by Christians about ancient Athenian religion were useless for coping with the death of someone who was close to me, and I'm a real "hands on" kinda gal. I realize that many of you are content with your altars and making offerings and your rituals and it's all good--I've never been that way and I never will. Sometimes I envy some of you for your simplicity of approach and other times I realize that everyone is different and therefore needs to worship and connect with the gods differently.

    And that's okay.

  • Lots of intense personal spiritual work, period. I've been getting my head back into all sorts of crazy shit and experimentation with magick, the astral, and life. My description these days of magick is "Poking reality with a stick to see how it reacts and applying that knowledge to useful ends." It works for me. Honestly, between this and my writing career this is where my passion lies--and so I'm running with it. I'm having a blast and I'm learning a great deal about life, myself, and having the opportunity to question a LOT of my sacred cows. And it's all good.

  • Mystical order shit. I belong to a couple. I do work in them. I write lectures. Sometimes it's boring but the Work isn't always roses and bliss. I'd like to think I'm making a difference sometimes, and other times I know I need to hang in the towel and declare myself free of bullshit I don't need. These days I only want to put forth work into groups which are GOOD groups led by people whom I can trust. And I'm real jaded these days, I'll admit that. I'm looking to potentially leave two big groups and just stick to the little ones I belong to.

  • Hermes. Hermes ran off with me back in June and life hasn't been the same since. He's contributed to much of the above bullet points. I'm VERY thankful for his presence in my life and I wish I had grokked it sooner. But all in due time, everything has its season, et cetera.

  • Fandom, geek-fun, and gaming. My spare time (what I have left of it that is) has been taken up by Doctor Who, Torchwood, and various LARPs with local friends. I've decided that the Doctor is squee and a total Hermes child, and I need to run off with him as his latest companion.

  • Exercise and health. I have gotten back into yoga and into a vegan diet. My body hates dairy and eggs--and therefore all animal proteins--and I need to just quit feeding it shit that makes it sick. Until they have a cure for this IBS crap that's what I'm left doing. And I feel MUCH better for it.

  • Job crap. My job had me on the assignment from hell which forced me to stop working on the Orders of Apollo and Dionysos--and pretty much everything--and work seven days a week. It was not fun. The subsequent assignment gave me all of the free time I wanted at the expense of killing my career. No fun. So I have gotten myself a new job and I start on the 19th.

    May the gods favor the foolish, the overextended, the overworked, and the downright nutty.


    Can I be honest? I'm the happiest I've been in a LONG time. I finally know where I'm going and where I'd like to go--and where I feel that I would best accomplish my True Will, which being that it is aligned with that of my gods' Will is ultimately where I belong.

    So I'm okay. I'd like to start having thoughts in here on my spiritual practice, the gods, my mystical life and where that is all going. I don't expect to be hugely open about some things as it's too personal to share, but I'll try to share what I can.
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    Comments {5}

    Nuri

    *no subject*

    from: fallenkalina
    date: May. 10th, 2008 04:03 am (UTC)
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    All good things. I keep cycling between things, can't keep any one thing going for a length of time.

    But you, you're getting there. Awesome.

    Reply | Thread

    Kyrene

    *no subject*

    from: kyrene_myste
    date: May. 10th, 2008 04:05 am (UTC)
    Link

    I'm trying to get there. Omgs. I went into hibernation over the winter. Did I mention I have finally come to terms with the fact that I have SAD? I bought myself a light box. Gods I hate winter. :(

    Anyhow, it's spring and with the increased sun and warm weather comes a happy Kyrene.

    Reply | Parent | Thread

    Nuri

    *no subject*

    from: fallenkalina
    date: May. 10th, 2008 04:08 am (UTC)
    Link

    Same here, except mine follows the school year -- I have no idea what will happen if I get work that doesn't start in August and end in May.

    Reply | Parent | Thread

    Hearthstone

    *no subject*

    from: hearthstone
    date: May. 10th, 2008 05:06 pm (UTC)
    Link

    I'm so glad to hear that things are going well for you! You deserve it. :)

    Reply | Thread

    Kyrene

    *no subject*

    from: kyrene_myste
    date: Jun. 3rd, 2008 11:15 am (UTC)
    Link

    Thanks! :D It's good to get in gear, so to speak.

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